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Discipline Not Joyful
My kids do not enjoy it when they need to be disciplined. Most of the time this discipline is in the form of consequences for their actions. They fool around at the dinner table so they don't get dessert. They take too long getting ready for bed so they don't get a bedtime story. Often when we have to discipline in this way, they get upset and they tend to blame their mom and I for their unhappiness. My older son is very apt to say, "You aren't being nice to me!"
The Bible describes this reaction as it says, "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful." That's for sure. But that doesn't mean that it is a bad thing. Sometimes we need correction because we are wrong. However, pride starts early and we don't like to admit that we are wrong, even to ourselves.
I have watched the behavior I've seen in my kids manifest itself with adults too. Sometimes it is necessary for church leadership to bring discipline to bear. This is usually because someone is refusing to deal with something or accept their role in a problem. As with my kids, church discipline is not about punishment as much as allowing or creating consequences to help demonstrate that behavior needs to change. For those who are teachable, this can be a very positive thing, even if it is sorrowful. Often though, I hear the same phrase as I get from my son, "you aren't being nice to me!'
Tough love is just that, tough. There are those that see any toughness as a lack of love. For them there is either tough or love, but they don't understand that both can take place.
Correction and tough love are an essential part of love. I don't want to think about what my kids would be like if I didn't discipline them in love. They may not like it, but later they will be thankful for it.
May all of us, whether parents or church leaders, try to make sure that we provide discipline, but always in love, and provide love, but not be afraid to correct.
A Monkey in your Girdle
Enjoy This Article about a man smuggling monkeys!!
Unionizing the Workers
Camp will wear you out. It is often a really good worn out, but it is a wear you out nonetheless. Anyone who has been involved in camp ministry knows how hard it can be and how much work it is. When I was a counselor, I would get really tired. Now I long for the seemingly care free days of being a counselor. As your responsibility grows, so does the strain.
Serving God will wear you out. At least it can. Now I'm not talking about burning out in an unhealthy way, but serving God demands everything. Those who want to serve God at no personal cost are doing some sort of Western European religion thing, not the Biblical Christianity that the Word talks about. Jesus says that following Him involves picking up your cross which was not just symbolic. It meant that Jesus expected that those who followed Him were in it even at the cost of their very lives. Yet these days a lot of people won't serve Him at the cost of a day or afternoon of free time, or if the cost would cut into affording digital cable, big vacations, or other toys.
In other words, sometimes we act like we got unionized. We band together and demand better working hours, more benefits, and if we don't get what we want, we will strike!
You can't serve God while trying to preserve earthly benefits. The benefit, the reward, is to come. In fact, Jesus made it clear that those seeking rewards now do so at the expense of rewards to come. That sounds like too high a price for me.
And Yet... I find myself wanting to unionize sometimes. I see what serving costs me while I watch others refuse to bear much cost. Sometimes you end up bearing a greater cost, in time, in effort, because fellow workers are busy protecting their personal benefits. That is when it is hard. That is when satan starts whispering in your ear that you need to take care of yourself too and pull back from sacrifice.
Oh Lord, may I not listen to that. May I serve with joy, not with obligation. May I give freely and fully, not reluctantly and grudgingly.
Humility, Maturity
Ephesians 4:1-3 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, (2) with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, (3) being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
I like those words, humilty, gentleness, patience, tolerance. What does that mean?
Humility-you acknowledge that you are a sinner, far from perfect and no better on your own than anyone else. It is a tough thing to have true humility and I am still learning it.
Gentleness-How do we react to others? Do we speak harshly and angrily? Impatiently. Or do we try to speak lovingly and gently.
Patience-Another tough one. People need time, but more on what that doesn't mean in a minute.
Tolerance-This one is misused and abused by the world. I fear that this twisted meaning has made its way into the church. Tolerance does not apply to SIN but only to sinners. Sometimes those who are in sin get upset when that sin is named and they are called to repentance. The shining of light upon sin and the calling for repentance is not intolerance. We are supposed to name sin and call for repentance. People need time, but not to continue in sin. One of the best examples of Jesus embodying this is the woman caught in adultery. First he dispatched those who would condemn her to death while ignoring their own sin. Then he forgave her. BUT there was one more thing. "Go and sin no more." He called her out of her sin.
When I'm asleep and someone turns on the light, I hate it. I want that light off! People in darkness can get pretty upset when we turn a light on. But that does not mean we shouldn't reach for that switch.
John 3:19-21 "This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. (20) "For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. (21) "But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God."
This is why there is no place for secrecy in the church. We have come to make a clear distinction between privacy and secrecy. Secrecy says, "I don't want you to know my struggles." Privacy says, "You don't need all the gory details." Let's not be afraid of the light. That is why I work very hard on trying to be transparent. I share my struggles, failures, and weaknesses here on the blog, from the pulpit, and in one on one conversations. I am a deeply flawed and weak man apart from the work of Christ in my life. It is only in Christ that I have strength. I don't need to stand in protection, defiance, or defense. God justifies so I don't need to justify myself. Shining light is not an act of hostility, it is an act of love.
Do you welcome the light? Are you eager for secrecy, or are you ready to be humble before not only God, but His people? I'm still working on all this and I hope that you are too. THAT is true maturity.
Strife Life & Peace
Ever know someone who always seemed to be either in a state of war or was about to be again? There are some people you meet that seem to be full of grace and joy, and then there are others who seem to be perpetually upset by people or things. In fact, some people seem like they are not happy unless someone or something is making them unhappy. I used to have some family members who sometimes embodied that idea. Someone was always doing something they didn't like or thought they shouldn't do etc.
You can run into those kind of people about anywhere, including the church. They are always ready for an offence and can often recite upon request a list of previous offences by various people or entities. One thing you will not hear a lot of is grace toward sinners.
The Bible anticipates this behavior. Check out this small sample of Proverbs.
- Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
- Proverbs 18:6 A fool's lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows.
- Proverbs 20:3 Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel.
- Proverbs 26:21 Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife.
- Proverbs 30:33 For the churning of milk produces butter, And pressing the nose brings forth blood; So the churning of anger produces strife.
That last one shows the cause of strife; anger. The perpetually upset are people who anger easily and sometimes rather forcibly. I often wonder what is at the core of such anger. Is it pain, disappointment, sin? I think whatever the trigger, the Bible is clear that the root of such things is unforgiveness. Grace forgives, unforgiveness creates bitterness. But there is hope! Some more Proverbs.
- Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.
- Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.
Love covers all transgressions. If you chose to express love, you can walk away from anger, no matter how justified you feel that anger is. I find that when I pray for people who hurt me or frustrate me, when I ask God to renew my love for them and see them the way He does, that even if they are still engaging in behavior that is hurtful to me, that I can love them and begin to look past the actions. That is not easy, but it can be done in the Lord. That leads to that second Proverb, about being slow to anger. In both of these cases, I am required to go beyond myself, my rights, hurts, reactions, and look at the other person and love, forgive, listen. That is very hard to do and the perpetually upset seem to find it almost impossible.
I feel sadness and compassion for those who live such lives. If there is a person like that in your life that you feel makes your life miserable, consider the fact that that person makes themselves far more miserable as they wall themselves off from person after person and situation after situation because of strife.
Be a person of grace. Be a person of forgiveness. Be a peacemaker. Be slow to anger. Understand that no matter what the action toward you, you control your own reaction. Then you can live a life of joy and as you are a joyful person, you will be amazed at how much more you will enjoy life and how people will be drawn more to you.
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