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Boys will be Boys
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Boys will be Boys

  05/19/10 15:29, by , Categories: Living Life, Theology Lived
Here is a great Newsweek article about our culture and the fact that it seems a little too permissible for men to be sexually promiscuous. I really agree with this article but think it is incomplete when it comes to a Biblical understanding. Our culture has been getting increasingly sexually permissive while at the same time ignoring the truth about our sexuality. We hate sex offenders, we condemn rapists, we exhile stars and politicians who get caught in sexual sin. BUT... Sex is used more and more to sell things. Women show more and more of their bodies. I am not simply talking about the topless march movement here in Maine. Even among Christians, a more sexualized, skin showing culture has emerged. Skirts are shorter, tops are lower. Modern day fashions that display cleavage or lots of leg are often easy to find in church (or hard to avoid and ignore.) Guys are not excused by this to engage in bad behavior. BUT women are not excused from adding to the sexual stimulation of our culture. I had a friend in college who once observed to one of our christian sisters in the Bible college, "If you spent 10 minutes in my head you would dress differently." I'm not saying guys shouldn't work to control their eyes and their thoughts, but to put it all on the guy is to say that women can dress in ways that will draw their eyes without any responsibility to their brothers' struggles. The Bible says we should determine not to put a stumbling block in anyone's way. So, I agree with the article. Our culture is too forgiving of the sexual expression of men, but culture is also setting men up by placing a lot of temptation in front of them and then asking them to not notice. We can't change this culture easily if at all, but we can make sure that we aren't emulating the culture and its styles just because we would rather look "good" according to what the world has taught us as opposed to dressing in love for each other so as not to cause temptation.
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3 comments

Comment from: Rick Francis [Visitor]  
Rick Francis
You're right on, Ira. It seems like too many young women are naive about what men think when they dress inappropriately. How often have we heard, "None of the guys that I know would ever have those kinds of thoughts about me." More young men need to admit that they DO have these thoughts when they see overexposed women. That might help to convince some.
05/21/10 @ 13:16
Comment from: LSharp [Visitor]
LSharp
Yes, it IS entirely too permisible for men to be sexually promiscuous. Yes, there is an increasing problem of inappropriate public dress. But the problem is not women. The problem is a culture that promotes a double standard on sexuality. Men are permitted to have many sexual partners and be looked on as a stud; but any woman who does will be looked down upon as a slut or whore. Women are allowed to dress in what they feel, (if anyone has a need to blame someone for the sudden epidemic of revealing clothing, society and the fashion industry are once again at falt) we do not live in the 1900s anymore. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. If men have such a hard time resisting "temptation" then they need to learn some self-control, not blame others. They are not being "set up", they are acting according to how they think. Saying that men are "set up" shifts blame and solves no problem. Rick Frances- I highly doubt that "many young women are naive about what men think" when they dress in short skirts and scoop neck shirts. It is hard to ignore catcalls, whistles, and loud comments that many men feel entitled to make despite how uncomfortable it makes the woman feel. If society condems rapists, then why are women told how to deter attackers instead of something being done to stop the rapists? Why is everyone being sold on the lie that rape is done mostly by strangers when in reality most rape is perpetrated by family members or dates? I don't believe that society really exile stars and politicians "caught in the act". Society just gives them more attention and, unbelievably, people still listen to them.
05/26/10 @ 17:17
Comment from: [Member]
Thank you for your comment LSharp. I want to be very clear about a couple of things although I can see that we are coming from two different perspectives. "Guys are not excused by this to engage in bad behavior. BUT women are not excused from adding to the sexual stimulation of our culture." My post and Mr Francis' in no way "blames" women for men's poor behavior. You are absolutely right. Men do need to control themselves and take responsibility for their own actions. But the Bible also makes it clear that love for one another includes being sensitive to each others weaknesses and proclivities. Our society today says, "Use your rights, who cares what others think" That is certainly America but not Biblical. Men are stimulated by sight. They just are. They can work to control their response to that stimulation, but they will be stimulated. Women who dress in ways that stimulate are not helping. I am not blaming them for men who don't control their response, that is on the guy, whether the response is the cat-calls or something much more inappropriate or violent. But for the person seeking to live Biblically, a girl should have love for her brothers and determine not to contribute to their struggle by putting temptation right in front of them. And in response to your critique of Mr Francis, you may not know the same young women we do, but I know many that are rather naive about how the male mind works. As for everyone being sold on the lie that rape is done mostly by strangers, I am not sold on that lie. Most rapists are known to their victims. I have a friend who was raped by her husband. My post was not about blaming or excusing anyone, but about realizing that such activity doesn't help correct anything. Our society has become to sexualized and not private enough. In a sexualized culture, men will struggle more. I can't change the culture, but I can ask our Christian sisters to dress in love more than in style.
05/26/10 @ 17:39

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About the Author

After growing up in Maine, Ira graduated from Bible College and wandered into Western Maine and has never found his way back out. He has a deep love for the rural churches of Maine and the people who make up this great state. He loves Truth over Tradition, Christ over Culture, and People over Process. He love to equip, teach, and disciple and longs to see the Maine church grow healthy and make disciples.


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