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Boys will be Boys
3 comments
You're right on, Ira. It seems like too many young women are naive about what men think when they dress inappropriately. How often have we heard, "None of the guys that I know would ever have those kinds of thoughts about me." More young men need to admit that they DO have these thoughts when they see overexposed women. That might help to convince some.
05/21/10 @ 13:16
Yes, it IS entirely too permisible for men to be sexually promiscuous. Yes, there is an increasing problem of inappropriate public dress.
But the problem is not women.
The problem is a culture that promotes a double standard on sexuality. Men are permitted to have many sexual partners and be looked on as a stud; but any woman who does will be looked down upon as a slut or whore.
Women are allowed to dress in what they feel, (if anyone has a need to blame someone for the sudden epidemic of revealing clothing, society and the fashion industry are once again at falt) we do not live in the 1900s anymore.
Everyone is responsible for their own actions. If men have such a hard time resisting "temptation" then they need to learn some self-control, not blame others.
They are not being "set up", they are acting according to how they think. Saying that men are "set up" shifts blame and solves no problem.
Rick Frances- I highly doubt that "many young women are naive about what men think" when they dress in short skirts and scoop neck shirts. It is hard to ignore catcalls, whistles, and loud comments that many men feel entitled to make despite how uncomfortable it makes the woman feel.
If society condems rapists, then why are women told how to deter attackers instead of something being done to stop the rapists? Why is everyone being sold on the lie that rape is done mostly by strangers when in reality most rape is perpetrated by family members or dates?
I don't believe that society really exile stars and politicians "caught in the act". Society just gives them more attention and, unbelievably, people still listen to them.
05/26/10 @ 17:17
Thank you for your comment LSharp.
I want to be very clear about a couple of things although I can see that we are coming from two different perspectives.
"Guys are not excused by this to engage in bad behavior. BUT women are not excused from adding to the sexual stimulation of our culture."
My post and Mr Francis' in no way "blames" women for men's poor behavior. You are absolutely right. Men do need to control themselves and take responsibility for their own actions. But the Bible also makes it clear that love for one another includes being sensitive to each others weaknesses and proclivities. Our society today says, "Use your rights, who cares what others think" That is certainly America but not Biblical. Men are stimulated by sight. They just are. They can work to control their response to that stimulation, but they will be stimulated. Women who dress in ways that stimulate are not helping. I am not blaming them for men who don't control their response, that is on the guy, whether the response is the cat-calls or something much more inappropriate or violent. But for the person seeking to live Biblically, a girl should have love for her brothers and determine not to contribute to their struggle by putting temptation right in front of them.
And in response to your critique of Mr Francis, you may not know the same young women we do, but I know many that are rather naive about how the male mind works.
As for everyone being sold on the lie that rape is done mostly by strangers, I am not sold on that lie. Most rapists are known to their victims. I have a friend who was raped by her husband.
My post was not about blaming or excusing anyone, but about realizing that such activity doesn't help correct anything. Our society has become to sexualized and not private enough. In a sexualized culture, men will struggle more. I can't change the culture, but I can ask our Christian sisters to dress in love more than in style.
05/26/10 @ 17:39
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