Is Everything Changed?

If “this changes everything” then we should be completely different.

As we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus, we celebrate a singular moment in history where a man died and then personally overcame that death and returned to life.  This momentous occasion sent a shockwave through the world that is still echoing powerfully over two thousand years later.  The man’s own followers had not seen it coming and were rousted from their grief and despair over his death when they finally grasped the news of what had happened.

Today, like then, many still can’t wrap their head around this event.  Coming to understand and accept Jesus having the power to defeat the one enemy no other person, no matter how strong or intelligent has ever managed, changes everything for you.  Death, the guaranteed end of each of us, suddenly is beatable.

The question is, if This Changes Everything, have we been changed?

Knowing the power of death is defeated should transform how we relate to every other power we are up against.  The final victory represents every victory.  The forces of this world are suddenly not something we have to fear or concern ourselves with.  This is why the Scripture reminds us that we “wrestle not against flesh & blood.”   Yet we live in a day when many of those who claim a grasp of the Resurrection are deeply concerned with trying to find victory over flesh & blood.  The Kingdom not of this world is suddenly very much of this world and time, effort, money, and sermons are all aimed at a current cultural battle.  Much like most other interest groups and causes.  The Kingdom reduced to political party, campaign, civil power, and cultural domination.

How is that any different than all the kingdoms of man over the span of human history?

The Roman Empire saw many factions, competitions, civil wars, and striving for power against enemies.  So did Egypt which saw different subgroups try to take power over one another.  Here in America, our bloodiest war ever was when two groups fought over who would control the government and define the national values.

This is not different, this is the same.

So did the resurrection “change everything” for us, or did we simply take it and decide to be like everyone else? 

Jesus’ enemies in the Jewish leadership saw him as a threat, but since they had no civil power to kill him, they needed Roman buy-in.  So they tried to pass Jesus off to Rome as a political player who threatened Rome’s power.  This was the heart of Pilate’s questioning of Jesus.  Pilate couldn’t care less about Jesus’ thoughts about God & a heavenly kingdom.  He just wanted to figure out if Jesus was seeking to contest Rome.

Jesus answers him very clearly with a full, unambiguous answer.  

“Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm.” “

(John 18:36)

Jesus represented something completely new.  He called it His church.  A kingdom that lived here but was not OF here.  A kingdom not defined by ethnicity, or earthly culture, or national boundaries.  A kingdom that wasn’t set up to compete against other “flesh & blood” kingdoms but instead one that would capture the hearts & minds by “taking every thought captive” and tear down “speculations & every lofty opinion raised up against the knowledge of Christ.”

This is why the Word of God is our sword, not some terrestrial weapon, and certainly not an excuse to fall back to terrestrial weapons.  You can never win a heart with a terrestrial weapon.  They are ineffective in winning any battle for the Kingdom that is not of this world.  

Over the centuries since He was here, Jesus’ kingdom has thrived the most where it lacked access to the tools and power of the earthly kingdoms.  Deprived of the ability to use terrestrial kingdom means, the people of God have instead clung to the Hope of the Resurrected Jesus and the power of His Word and have seen many come to know him.  The church has greater vitality in China, and Iran, than in the West for the simple reason that they are free from the temptation to return to the Kingdom of this world.  

Jesus told Pilate that you could tell the difference in the Kingdom because His followers weren’t fighting for his release.  Even though the resurrection was still days away, Jesus was already living His Kingdom.  His resurrection would be the final establishing moment.  When He defeated death by His own power, he completed the establishment of His Kingdom for us.

This Easter, as we celebrate the Resurrection, are we completely different?  Are we completely distinct from the kingdoms of this world and their values, methods, and styles?

Did this truly change Everything?

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Our Values & Hypocrisy

Our values are our most cherished ideals, our firmest foundations, an expression of our core convictions. Every decision we make can be traced down to a foundational value that caused us to decide one way or the other. The tricky thing for us is that we are very good at misunderstanding our OWN values. We often have a mental list of what we say & believe our values are, and that list can often, without even noticing, not actually reflect what we truly value. With this dichotomy, we become unwitting hypocrites who may even be undermining the very values we are championing.

To help frame this discussion, let us differentiate between a Stated Value and an Actual Value. Our Stated Values are what we say, and believe, to be our values. We fight for and are convinced these are our values. Our Actual Values may or may not be the same. We may have Actual Values that we don’t know we hold. The discontinuity between our Actual Values and Stated Values is often covered by Rationalization that obscures an Actual Value overriding a Stated Value.

Let’s use a simple and convicting example. I believe both as a conservative and a Christian that the law is to be obeyed, and that to break the law is a sin. That Stated Value becomes something I fight for politically, especially in regard to crime or immigration. Then I get in my car to go somewhere and while the speed limit is the law, I hold allegiance to that law very loosely. My Actual Value is that the law should give way to personal decisions, at least for me. I would never publicly embrace this value, nor usually admit it to myself. I’m a Law and Order man!

This tendency to fight for values, especially in the political arena, while not actually holding those values has become almost a feature of much of modern politics in the American Church, especially what we would call the Republican Right Church. The discontinuity has become so stark, that the rationalizations have had to become explicit as well. Phrases like, “we aren’t electing a pastor-in-cheif” or “I vote for the policy, not the person” can be true statements while also serving to paper over the difference between a Stated Value and an Actual Value so that we don’t have to admit the Actual Value.

The question really becomes, can you separate a Person from the Value? Yes, people of poor character can cast a vote for a good thing, that is clear, but when it comes to championing & spreading a value, can values be saved, transmitted, and made transformative to society by those who do not hold those values?

For the Christian, the Biblical answer is, NO! The Bible makes it clear that how we live is inseparable from what we believe. It goes so far as to make the point that if your life is consistently out of step with your beliefs, your belief is invalid.

(Jas 1:22)  But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.
(1Jn 2:9)  The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now.
(1Jn 4:20)  If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.

A pastor who preaches against adultery, yet commits adultery, should not be tolerated in a church. This isn’t simply because he’s a pastor, but because as a Christian, the deeds matter. Now when we step out of the church into the world, do our values change? We do understand that many of our politicians do not share our values, and yet we vote for them. This is a normal part of living in a pagan society that is a participatory democracy, and there is no hypocrisy in that simple act.

The problem becomes when we try to use our values as weapons to accrue political power while trying to pretend that we are merely defending our values. This leads us to divorce our Stated Values from our Actual Values, and to do so in front of a lost world that is not deceived by our rationalizations.

The greatest value that has been weaponized in our culture is the incendiary area of Abortion. If we hold that abortion is the death of a child, no matter how unformed, then we have to be against it. This simple formulation has been the political framework for most of the Republican Christian Right. This value overrides all others, sometimes creating what is called a “single-issue voter.”

Within the Pro-Life/Anti-Abortion movement, there have been two centers of thinking. Incrementalists seek to take a step-by-step approach to try to remove abortion from the culture. Abolitionists hold that embracing the step-by-step approach is tantamount to pro-abortion, with the only right way to fight the evil being full abolition as step one, no matter how possible that is. Both of these approaches have appeals based on how one understands their Values.

Let’s take for a moment the Abolitionist stance as it seems to take a stronger Moral Value position. Now if I am offered a candidate that will vote to ban all abortions, but who has in their personal life, embraced abortion as a choice, how do I vote? I vote the policy, not the person. In other words, I’m against abortion for society, but not for certain individuals. I’m willing to look the other way on an individual abortion situation to champion the value that EVERY LIFE must be saved.

Thus the hypocrisy is exposed. Every life is valuable except the ones that must be sacrificed for the value. I may be a Stated Value Abolitionist, but I’m willing to ignore some incremental abortions to get there. It is this discontinuity that is undermining the witness of Christians in the public sphere. To champion truth, but willing to support lies to get there. To champion life, but willing to see death to get there. To champion sexual morality, but willing to embrace the immoral to get there. When we say we are voting our principles BY ignoring those principles, we reveal what our Actual Value is: Power.

The point of politics is to establish governing power. For many of us these days, that is the Actual Value that we are trying to hide from our own eyes. No longer in the majority of our nation, we want to try to hold onto control of the public morality and laws, and if it takes immoral people to help us keep that power, then that is ok because our Actual Value is: that power.

Our ends are good. The question we must wrestle with again and again Biblically is: do those ends justify the means and do we Actually Value what we say we do?

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Frog in the Icy Kettle

Free photos of Tree frog

Growing up, the Frog in the Kettle was a popular metaphorical warning to us as Christians.  The metaphor compared a frog being slowly boiled to death unaware to the sneaky advance of liberalism.  While I have never studied the biological reality of the science, as a metaphor it is powerful, sticking with you as a great illustration of the danger of not paying attention to small changes that become big changes.  I think there was plenty of truth in the metaphor that time has in some ways validated.  However, over the recent two decades, I have observed a parallel phenomenon that requires an update of the metaphor.

Imagine the frog sitting in the kettle, alert to the danger, keeping his eye squarely on the burning to make sure it is not turned on nor turned up.  So keenly aware of the legitimate danger that the burner control poses, he stays vigilantly fixated on making sure the burner is not turned up.  So much so that he does not notice when a little bit of ice was added to the pot.

With each passing day, a little more ice is added to the pot, but the frog is unaware.  No one told him there was a danger from gradual cooling, only from gradual warming, and he’s guarded himself against that with intensity.  

One day a friend of the frog noticed how much ice had been added to the pot.  Concerned that the frog was already colder than was healthy, the friend tried to adjust the burner to up the heat a little to return the water to normal temperature.  The frog was immediately on alert.  “Stay away from that burner!  How dare you!?!  You are obviously a liberal trying to tempt me into my destruction!!”

Thus the frog began to perceive any who tried to save him from the cold as agents of liberalism trying to cook him.  Former allies were labeled as enemies who had fallen victim to the creeping liberalism he’d been guarding himself against for decades.  Meanwhile, the ice increased.  Soon the frog was very cold, but he never knew he was losing his life to cold, all he knew was that he had avoided being cooked.

The Bible says that in the last days, because of the increase in lawlessness, the love of many will grow cold.  Among some of the staunchest warriors on the right and in church, there is not only a lack of compassion, but a stated distaste for compassion, gentleness, and love.  Any who advocates for warming things up a bit, showing love, compassion, or mercy are labeled as agents of liberalism, no matter their core theology, and fought as the enemy.  

I fear that many people who love Jesus and wanted to seek first His kingdom have guarded themselves well against drifting left but have been radicalized to the right, never having been warned that there is danger in both directions.  

Christian, has your heart grown cold, your love for your neighbor, for your enemy, (both commanded by Scripture) iced over?   Have you worked so hard to stay out of the left lane that you’re driving in the ditch? The warning to “See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition” applies equally to all sides of the human political spectrum, & we must be careful that we don’t become blind to one side by fixating only on the other.

Let us not let our love grow cold, as did the Galatians.  We must not become licentious Romans or Legalistic Pharisees, but Disciples of Jesus, who came to seek and to save the lost.

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My aMErican Religion

(author’s note: this blog post is not commenting on whether vaccines should be mandated or trying to address the debate behind their origin or efficacy).

A popular quote in some circles is “America was founded as a Christian nation.” This simple quote of course masks a much more nuanced and complex reality of the founding of the United States. Several years teaching American history and even longer as an avid student of same, demonstrates a lot of texture to that discussion. For simplicity’s sake today, we can stipulate that most all our founders were believers in God in one way or another, that most thought the Bible was important, and that Judeo-Christian thinking and ethics were the major shapers of their thinking. Some of the founders even had an understanding of salvation in Christ that we would recognize. Inspiration for our founding documents was drawn both from Biblical thoughts as well as other philosophers and thinkers that were not Christian.

This unique mix of Christian-ish belief and worldly philosophy can be most clearly seen in the Declaration of Independence, one of our two most cherished national birth records. You may have even memorized the lines.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

This foundational block of our national psyche has been in clear focus over the last year and a half as pandemic mitigation measures have caused great angst and anger among the citizenry of our country. We are allergic to mandates, orders, and restrictions. We’ve even decided that such things are against our religion. The question is, what religion is that?

The lines above do not come from the Bible, nor are they rooted in the philosophy or worldview of the Bible. First, the Word of God does not center around the achievement of rights, either by humans or even more importantly, by God.

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
(Philippians 2:5-8)

The New Testament is stubbornly insistent on a theme of sacrificing rights.

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
(Galatians 5:13)
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
(Matthew 16:24)

Perhaps the most inconvenient verse, often quietly ignored, is the when the Bible is teaching about being in conflict with other believers.

Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?
(1 Corinthians 6:7)

Those are haunting words. “wouldn’t you rather be wronged?” “Defrauded?” Paul’s argument, consistent with Jesus’ life and teaching of suffering servanthood, is that we give up rather than claim our lives. This is a Biblical principle that we don’t tend to fight for.

The way of the Cross, the way of Christ, is laying aside ourselves, rather than a God-promised right to do what I want and be happy. These concepts are not based in God’s Word, but in John Locke, Aristotle, and Epicurus.

This returns us to the debate about what we do in our current culture. This conviction of self-determination and sovereignty is embedded in our founding documents and part of our psyche. It is synchronizing of American political belief in self with Biblical morality creating a religion we can call American Christianity.

Being asked to do something that conflicts with what we want (our rights and desires, good or bad) is against this religion of being sovereign to myself. This entitles me to a religious exemption for any firmly held belief I have, no matter what that belief may be or whether it is covered in the Word of God. After all, my rights are self-evident.

There are many reasons to restrict the power of the state over the individual, as the founding fathers intended. There are powerful and fruitful debates to be had on how this country decides what to mandate, how to do it, and when. Freedom itself is rooted in the Good News of the Gospel, but not the freedom of self-satisfaction. National issues are important and affect both our lives and the relative cost of carrying out our Mission and lives as followers of Christ.

The key is in being careful to notice when we have moved from Biblical Christianity to an American Civic Christianity that is based on the rights of the self over the Sacrifice of the Savior and His cross-bearing followers. We must guard against our natural motivation to seek our own comfort and happiness over our ability to lay down our lives for others.

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
(John 15:13)

For more on the Lockian ideas, check out this link: https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/john-locke/

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Shifting Rock?

“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness” is the first line of the hymn “The Solid Rock.”  The chorus reiterates each stanza, “On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand.  All other ground is sinking sand.”

I grew up singing those words and they are etched deep in my mind.  Today they stand in stark contrast to the Christian church culture I find myself surrounded by.  Between presidential elections and Covid mitigation strategies, I have rarely heard people who call themselves Christians sound more shaken.  I grew up in the ’80s when Hal Lindsey was writing during a wave of End Times interest that would find its apotheosis in the Left Behind series.  Those days of worrying about Soviet nukes and European Unions don’t hold a candle to the unrest of today’s church that is either on the verge of destruction because wearing a mask is antithetical to Jesus or because the wrong political party is in power in Washington D.C.

The rain falls, the wind blows, and rather than standing firm, there is fear, anger, and division among self-identified Christians like I have never seen in my life.  Talking to both pastors and those who minister to pastors reveals that my observation is true across the country.  I find most pastors fall into two general categories.  Either they too are up in arms and view themselves on the verge of calamity, or they are just tired & discouraged by the tumult around them.

“All other ground is sinking sand.”  The simple truth of this song is easy to lose sight of when you don’t realize that singing those words are not the same as living them.  We have too often rested our hope on the freedom of American culture, the belief in American goodness, on living in a society where we thought we had enough sway to live a Christian life with minimal friction from the world.  Sure, they would disapprove of us, but they still had to listen to us, and our vote was our power to keep us secure.

“All other ground is sinking sand.”  When a pandemic changes how society works, does the upheaval threaten our sense of hope and security?  When our morals, our views, or our very church culture is not understood or respected by society, are we driven to either despair or angry warfare to try to take back the power no longer offered to us?

Jesus’ blood & righteousness has not changed since the day His body was laid in the tomb.  It was not changed as Roman leaders lit Christians on fire or fed them to lions to entertain the crowd.  The blood of Jesus is untouched by communist repression, Islamic extremism, or corrupting capitalism.  It is no more changed or challenged by an American election or a Taliban takeover.

“On Christ, the solid rock, I stand.”  These words are easier to sing than to live, simpler to say than to demonstrate.  When I open the Word, I see men & women of God who knew with a simple certainty that there was nothing on this earth that could threaten their God.  Their hope was in the Kingdom that is not based on this earth, their country was not defined by any national borders or earthly leader.

Are we on sinking sand or solid rock?

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Starfish Ideology

An old anecdote speaks of a young man walking along a beach where hundreds of starfish have been washed up on shore. As he throws them back another person claims he’s wasting his time because there are so many.  What he’s doing doesn’t matter.  As he throws back the next one, he replies, “it matters to this one.”

Watching the SBC Convention online this last week as an outsider I was struck by the barely concealed anger of some as their attempts to push harder-nosed, strict positions failed.  The crusade to seize control of what a whole collection of churches should do had been fomented over long months.  Meanwhile, others’ passions were centered around seeking care for individuals who had been abused and hurt.  Their efforts were aimed less at trying to police what others thought, and more on ways to care for individuals.  Most of these warriors sounded far less angry but no less passionate.

The fallen world with its injustices and sins quickly seems to call for a massive effort to seize the reins of power and force everyone to change.  In trying to fix large-scale issues, we can turn a blind eye to real people right before us. The issues and ideologies of our battle become impersonal.

Jesus, came to earth to deal with cosmic rebellion and provide salvation to the world.  Yet He spent a lot of time helping individuals.  Raising one child from the dead, helping a beggar gain his sight, or even healing a group of lepers did nothing to move the needle on global evil.  Yet as you read the Gospel accounts, repeatedly, in a sea of sinful humanity, He spent time with individuals.  While He did teach large crowds, most of His efforts were amazingly small.

Thinking back to the starfish story, small things matter to the recipients of love and care. The hard-line warriors, pastors, or others who count themselves as leaders, are often snide, angry, dismissive of others, and harsh. In fighting for the Kingdom of God, little of that kingdom’s characteristic concern for others shines through.  It is a vision of big-picture “truth” at the expense of individuals.

We must always start with the starfish at our feet.  You can’t clear the beach by ignoring them.  God puts us in our spots with people before our eyes.  Systemic change must always be rooted in the love of the individual, not love for ideology about individuals. Churches and communities need the love and call of Christ.  Truth must prevail in our churches and in people’s lives.  Before we go to war over ideologies, we must make sure we love the people behind each and every ideology.  This is the way of Jesus. God Himself makes His quest for global justice and restoration deeply personal.  He’s not fighting for ideological purity, he’s fighting for individuals’ souls.

The sacred truth of God’s Word is intensely rooted in love for my brothers, my neighbors, and my enemies.  My passion must be centered in that.  I’m too busy to get angry about ideologies when I’ve got starfish to throw back into the sea.

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Honesty, Anger, and the Bad People

Can I be honest with you? There are some bad people out there. Allow me to spend the next fifteen minutes explaining to you how bad they are and how smart you are if you disdain or even hate them as much as I do.

This is the formula that informs many media presentations as well as political messaging. If you listen to various shows that purport to give you news, you will be bombarded by this kind of talk. Unfortunately, it is often based on half-truths or even outright lies. Where it tells the truth, the intent is to paint the “bad people” in the worst possible light. How fortunate you are that you know better and are so much smarter, better, more enlightened, patriotic, virtuous than THOSE people.

When it comes to painting an unflattering portrait of what a group of people are like, you would be hard pressed to find a more damning description than what the Bible has to say about the human race.

"The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?
(Jeremiah 17:9)
Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
(Genesis 6:5)
All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him.
(Isaiah 53:6)

These verses are just a sample of the picture the Bible gives about the human race. Three chapters in, the first humans are already rebelling against God and bringing down a curse upon all creation. The story doesn’t get better from there. The humans not only continue to do terrible things but every chance they get, they try to make God the problem, not them. The sides are clearly drawn between the bad people and the good, righteous, virtuous side.

Suddenly we are faced with a startling plot twist. Even though the lies, the rebellion, the corruption of the group that are now the Enemies has caused great anger, something very strange happens. The Right One makes a startling introduction.

Then the LORD passed by in front of him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations."
(Exodus 34:6-7)

God, right, good, and wise, reacts to the corruption and hatred facing Him by offering love, compassion, grace, and forgiveness. While He makes it clear that wrong needs to be dealt with, He explains that His love is stronger and more long-lasting than His anger.

Later He actually comes down to live with these rebels and shows consistent compassion and love for really bad people who had trampled His holy law. Then He goes so far as to use Himself as an example for us.

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
(Luke 6:35-36)

This is a massively different style than what we see on our favorite media outlets? Mercy over anger, compassion over ridicule, love over hate. God does hate sin, He does hate rebellion, He is angry over what we have done as a human race. He is right, and we are so very very wrong. YET, His response to us is based on His lovingkindness. He reminds us that our anger leaves a lot to be desired. No matter how much we want to think that our anger is “righteous” anger, we’re not righteous.

as it is written, "THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE;
(Romans 3:10)

We’re not really good at righteous anger, and our anger tends to be something that overwhelms our compassion. Our anger doesn’t move us toward compassion but away from it. Yet even in the midst of what is a powerful wrath, God’s love is stronger and He responds with compassion. Jesus, hanging on the cross, cries out for forgiveness for those who are currently killing him in a travesty of justice.

What are you listening to, watching, and allowing to fill your mind? Are you allowing purveyors of the anger of man to fill your heart and mind with anger and a sense of self-righteousness? Are you being told each day that you are the good, smart, patriotic, virtuous one while those Others are worthy of your derision and condemnation?

Do YOU find yourself moving toward God’s heart by what you are told? Do you find yourself moving toward what Jesus said?

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
(Luke 6:36)

or

"But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
(Luke 6:27-28)

Perhaps it is time to permanently shut off the voices that are convincing you that since you are more right than others, you can be full of disgust, disdain, anger, and condemnation. Perhaps it is time to focus each day on the Grace and Mercy that has been poured out on us by a holy and righteous God who has compassion on a group of terrible sinners.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8)
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The Weakness of My Love

I am a junkie. My drug of choice doesn’t appear on any government list of controlled substances, but my addiction is long and well documented. Although I am by nature an introvert, I am a people junkie. When I take those little tests that measure your ratio of Task Oriented to Relationship Oriented, I bury the needle in Relationship. Its long been true that if there are things to get done, I should work alone. Otherwise I’m going to visit more than work.

My entire life, including my “career” choices have been guided by only one thing, wanting to minister to people, especially the left out who don’t have a seat along the sides of the beaten path. This is what brought me back to Maine, led me into the Western Maine mountains, and finally, against my will, led me into the pastorate.

As we come up one the one year anniversary of the Great Social Distancing due to Covid-19, I find myself struggling with new weaknesses that I’m not sure yet how to overcome. A weakness that so far has played a better chess game than I, cutting off each move I make before I even finish making it. I’m struggling with the Energy to Love.

The Bible warns that in the last days, because of lawlessness, the love of many will grow cold. That is not my struggle. My love has not grown cold. If anything, the burden of my heart has never felt heavier as I see so many hurting, lonely, angry, scared, and confused. You can’t dip a toe into social media and avoid the extreme unhappiness of so many people. I see a great need and want to help show them the Love of Christ.

I’m not struggling with feeling loved. God has given me many brothers and sisters in Christ who are dear friends. Sarah and I are best friends and share with openness and honesty, supporting each other.

There is no lack of opportunities to love others. The sheer number of messages, phone calls, letters, and visits that I need to make far outstrip the hours available to me.

So with no lack of people to love, no lack of desire to love them, no lack of compassion for them, what is my problem? That is the question. A question that is haunting my days. I’m not sure when I’ve ever felt such a weariness, not of love, just of the energy to execute. I bought a new book on boosting willpower which was an awesome book and gave me some new strategies. I’ve reworked and reworked again daily habits seeking the right combination of self-discipline and planning (never my strong suit) to overcome a repeated failure to practically execute loving others.

I got my mom’s van stuck in the driveway the other day. I couldn’t figure out why it kept spinning. Yes there was snow and ice, but I’d cleared most of it away. I couldn’t figure out why I was so stuck. It turns out she had put on the emergency brake. No matter what else I tried, that brake kept me from moving. So what is holding me in this stuck position?

My ratio of success to failure isn’t encouraging. So if you read this, I covet your prayers. I strongly suspect I am not alone in this, and all things considered, I believe I am in far better shape than many of my fellow pastors who are either getting done or desperately want to. I don’t want to quit, I am hopeful for where God is going to lead Bean’s Corner, and despite the difficulties of this moment, I am confident in God’s leading of us.

I’m just really tired of failing so badly to do what I desperately want and need to do. As Jesus observed in Gethsemane, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I’ve never found myself quite this weak, at least in this way.

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When We Are Home

Sarah and the kids had traveled to a wedding while I stayed back to attend to some ministry duties. It had been a busy summer with travel, ministry, and moving from place to place. During the summer, “home” meant Camp Berea. Then we would head off on vacation to the family camp which would be home for two weeks. Finally, we would return to the parsonage, after more than two months away. Would we finally be home?

My second son, four at the time and the youngest for a little while longer, had figured out what it all meant in a way that caught his parents off guard and amazed. “When we are all back together, then we will be home because home is wherever we are all together.”

Such a simple calculation and yet all these years later, I am still stunned by the depth of his child-view. Already at four years old he had learned that home was less about which building we were dwelling in at the moment.

The spiritual application writes itself at this point. The Bible calls us aliens and strangers, using the language of the Hebrew exile to remind us where home is. So often when we talk about our spiritual home, we talk of heaven. We begin to talk about what the place might look like. Sometimes we might even wonder whether we will like it there if it is just a bunch of clouds and harps.

There are few descriptions of what heaven will be like, especially once you strip away the metaphorical devices often employed. Furthermore, the Bible speaks of a new heaven and new earth in the future, which is not described in detail, but offers a tantalizing hint of new creation experiences beyond the puffy cloud pictures held by our classic culture.

What the Bible does emphasize is togetherness. Paul writing to the Thessalonian Christians sought to reassure them as they worried that perhaps their loved ones who had died had missed out on the return of the Messiah. Paul assures them that not only will those who have died not be left out, but that will actually be the first to experience resurrection. He continues,

Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.
(1 Thessalonians 4:17)

Often we focus on the timing of this event, or what the trumpet will sound like, or all the other details that often capture our attention when we think about the end times. The focus of the text seems to point more toward the people than the time or place. Paul emphasizes first that we will be “together with them” and then concludes, “so we shall aways be with the Lord.”

One of my favorite quiet places is the Mount Auburn Cemetary in Auburn, Maine where Nana is buried. My mom’s mother was a devout believer who loved Jesus. She died when I was eleven, and I often think about how excited she would be if she knew I had grown up to be in ministry. I love to visit her grave and think about the day when I will see Nana again, and get to share with her all that God has done.

This isn’t home. It can’t be home. We aren’t all together yet. There are dear believers who have gone on. We miss them. There are more goodbyes and separations in our future, but as one music artist said, heaven is a long hello. Or in the words of my young son those years ago, “When we are all back together, then we will be home because home is wherever we are all together.”

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Alone

The empty woods were full of small sounds.  The unending rows of towering pines groaned and creaked as the wind whispered through its tops.  My footfalls were silent on the blanket of needles as I hiked alone through the woods.  Pine gave way to hardwoods as I climbed the gentle slope of the small mountain, soon standing solitary atop the forested peak.

A still breeze quietly roared while the waves churned over the rocks and sighed up the sand at the silent lake.  All the camps were boarded up, their owners off to warmer houses and fall obligations.  The summer sun and vacation exploits now a memory.  I stand in the wind exulting in the loud silence and full solitude.

The house is still with only the quiet hum of a dutiful appliance and the crackle of the woodstove.  The children away at activities and nothing to interrupt the quiet of an empty room.  I listen intently to the silence and breathe deeply in the peace of the moment, alone with my thoughts.

I love people and treasure relationships, finding great joy and fulfillment in connections and friendships.  I relish my children, celebrating family and friends.  I love the bustle of a busy Sunday morning as well as the joy of summer activities.

Yet I find the silence of solitude to be a sweet and wondrous experience.  It is both made sweeter by the time with people before, and enriches future times of fellowship by recharging my heart and mind, preparing me to once again invest life in others.

Being alone is not a retreat from others, nor an experience of absence, but instead, a fulfillment of those experiences by giving me room to reflect, to listen to the quiet, and to fully enjoy the fullness of nature and time.

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